THE PERFECTION YOU’RE LOOKING FOR, DOESN’T EXHIST AND THAT’S OK.

Ever since I started blogging, over a decade ago. I always had an issue with trying to make what I say matter, or my outfits to have some sort meaning to them (yes, really). And that has stuck with meyou could say perfectionism is a blessing and curse. Will create the drive to be better with task but that same drive and pressure will also cause a blockage for creating. I can’t even tell you the amount of tears I’ve wasted cause of algorithm’s, lack of control aand the strive to be the best in everything. It’s honestly quite silly. I was talking to my therapist about it actually, and her advice has been something along the lines of

“You’re so critical of yourself and your skills but when you’re critical of yourself that’s how you treat that little girl that just needs to be heard and supported”

And it’s so true. But I also think it’s the struggle of our generation, we put our entire selfes out there. Like a performance. But I’m sure many of us totally forgot how it is to create for ourselves. And it doesn’t matter if it’s blogging, YouTube’s, physical or digital art. There’s always this little voice that says “it’s not ready yet” but isn’t creation and ongoing process? I’ve been working on my portfolio for months, until I needed it ASAP. Guess what. I’ve finished it in the space of few days.

Is it perfect? No.

But is it up in the digital space? Yes.

Do I feel exposed to the bone cause of it? You have no idea.

But I’m sure I’m not the only one. And the case for the numbers, views, followers doesn’t help. Actually these days when I post something I’d rather not see the views cause it freaks me out. Part of me hates the idea that quite a lot of myself is out there in the digital space. Then again I don’t think I’d change it. Cause if I don’t do something it feels like a waste. And yes that’s my need for productivity cause that’s my literal self esteem (yay aftermath of growing up online and having a competitive personality!) But I also think it could be worse. With hundreds of videos, thousands of photos and millions of words out there in the cyberspace doesn’t mean we’re being fully authentic.

That’s what makes me so excited to see the new generation of creators who say how it is. Who are unfiltered. Yeah some of them are bit controversial but compering to the content I grew up with, its so damn refreshing.

Well that has been a rant. Bit all over the place but at the end of the day this is my own online space (ha it even rhymed) I’m allowed to be bit chaotic. Right I’m off cause ya girl has life aka a job.

Peace x

Bodysuit – H&M // Skirt – Love Too True // Cardigan – Thrifted // Tights – H&M // Beret – ASOS // Choker – Killstar // Shoes – Demonia