new beginnings | hello 2020 – that green thing

Here. We. Go.

new beginnings. new year, new blog, new links and old shoot. Or in other words, same old Kinga. Somethings just don’t change, I am really sorry. I am terrible with posting content “on time” mainly because the moment that happens I get this anxiety of whenever it will perform well enough, whenever people will like it etc. Or if I posted at the “right time” there isn’t “right time”.

I need to remind myself to just keep on posting and keep on creating and the rest will follow. If you ever entered into any of my previous online spaces, hello, welcome back. If you haven’t well, hello. I’ve been creating content online for 7 years, until I had a little mental breakdown couple of months ago. I lost trust in people, in the safety of online space, where in fact you are never “truly” safe. There’s always someone who is going to have an agenda against you but it’s your job not to let them get to you.

I hate the idea of resolutions as I mainly feel like I fail on them which makes me feel even more like a failure than I already am.

They make me feel like I have my shit together for about 2 seconds until, turns out I can’t stick to them, mainly to the anxiety of the commitment, yes I know I’ve been blogging for 7 years but I get anxiety over stuff like that. Brains, huh? I really do. Writing and posting my thoughts scares me, having strangers or god forbid family reading this scares me. It’s almost as someone is mind reading my mind where most of the time it’s not all flowers and unicorns down there. It’s usually rains with some metal playing in the background. l0l. I had to make a joke I’m sorry. Then again I was clearing out my hard-drive the other night (thanksssss insomnia) and found these photos, edited them. And despite the fact they are over a year old, it doesn’t matter, it’s still me. And I feel like this type of photoset works perfectly for more personal past rather than outfit photos. The question in my mind is “Is Rock this Runway ever going to comeback” and I don’t know. But from where I’m sitting it’s highly unlikely.

Don’t get me wrong. I loved that space with all my heart, it’s all archived with me being the only key holder to it’s lock. And I wanted to start new and fresh. To give me an illusion that I do in fact “have my shit together”. Blogger is where I stated my journey with blogging, I’ve been on this platform for about 5 years before wanting to be all professional and proper and spending lots of money on that hobby. Which, yes it’s fun to dream but it was unrealistic. And that’s ok. I’m trying for blogging to be a thing that just bring me pure joy in life. And that’s it. No brand deals, sponsorships etc (unless it’s something I love) just content creation without pressure.

So, welcome to this new and fresh space. I hope I’ll be able to breath over here a little bit more. And I hope whoever reads it enjoys my rambling.

Love xxx